Things said to me this month:

1. When you give and yet receive so little in return, why bother?
 - Because i have no choice. Obligations are prioritized against personally wants. The people beside you do not have to know it was all done under the name of obligations. It makes them a little happier.

2. I pity you, i know the reason for my failure, but why you?
- I don't want to give excuses. I did not want it enough. I did not put in enough. It an anticipated failure. Who likes to fail? Not me, but this time, I had to put my hands up and surrender.

3. Have you take a look in the mirror recently? You look out of it.
- I don't understand. As far as i am concerned, my mental and physical state are synchronized. Might not be fantastic but at least i am okay. No i am not depressed. I just need more time alone.

4. How much of your life do you want to share?
- My dear friend who asked me this.... is not my life already not wholly mine? You should have a talk with friend number 1. Obligations in life are crippling.
Then again it might all be excuses.

5. Where do you want to go for a vacation?
- Where do i get to start and end?

6. Balance is always there. You just need to find out which in life is heavier and balance it against the lighter. It is like taking the pros and cons of each turn of event, weighing it out and making sure you take the heavier(cons) ones head on. Then you'll only need to worry about your shortcomings. Leave the pros as it is. It will manifest itself to greater heights as you work on overcoming your obstacles. Grow not just as a person but with the people and environment surrounding you.
- Ahhh always...easier said than done. I could motivate myself daily and read a thousand quotes a day. To execute it? I think i'll read more. And yes i read enough to say that to myself. That was something said to me by me.

7. You cannot choose your room based on something so trivial like how you cannot get the view from your window. It is not the view from your window that makes your room more valuable. It is your point of view that makes it valuable. If you stand and continue looking out the window and blaming the location of your room. Why not take a change and move away for a better view next door. Come back and reflect and continue the cycle in a different direction each day. There, you'll have the best views in life.
- Hahaha thanks... but i am still insisting on the room with the nice river view.

8. How have you been lately?
- I am doing fine. Really. If only you don't have to ask me that. Can't you see?

9. What is your main reason for learning the piano?
- It keeps me sane. It beats watching a movie. The piano understands my touch more than anyone and respond to it as how i see fit. However, it reminds me, no matter how much i want something to sound the way i want it to. There are always something...that little something that makes it flawed. My emotions are flawed and that is how the characters in a piece comes out. Reflecting a work of a master infused with my own take on it. Never perfect, but always responsive.

10. How far will you want to go? In what?
- I don't know. Honestly i wish i knew. from day 1 what i always wanted. It is still vague and blurry. Heyy can i come back to you in 2 years time? I hope i will be able to tell you then. Until then, please check up on me. I appreciate it.

* Now if only i could answer all this at those moments they were posted. Not like the owners of the questions will ever get to read this. I'm not too worried.
I am really contented.
But contentment do not get anyone far. It paralyzes me and for that reason i fear it.
No, i do not want to be contented. Not now.